Letters from Lilongwe

“Everyone’s life is valuable and everyone's story is worth telling”, Theron Humphrey set out to meet and share the stories of 365 Americans across fifty states in 365 days.  This image on the trip spoke directly to my soul on Friday October 25, 2013 after a frustrating and exhausting morning serving my friends in the small park in front of the Coca-Cola Office on North Ave.  As I put into practice the ideas we discuss in class pertaining to empathy, leadership, and servanthood I am learning that everyone on this planet has a storied life of impact.  The men in the park who are homeless have left a last impression on my view of Impact because they in the material sense have very little but what they do have is life and love and that is priceless.  Week after week of returning to love on these guys I became worn down and discouraged that my efforts were not making an impact.  The picture below resonated and revealed that at times the journey will wear you down but we must keep the

My name is Pride. I am a cheater. I cheat you of your God-given destiny… because you demand your own way. I cheat you of contentment… because you “deserve better than this.” I cheat you of knowledge… because you already know it all. I cheat you of healing… because you are too full of you to forgive. I cheat you of holiness… because you refuse to admit when you are wrong. I cheat you of vision… because you’d rather look in the mirror than out a window. I cheat you of genuine friendship… because nobody’s going to know the real you. I cheat you of love… because real romance demands sacrifice. I cheat you of greatness in heaven… because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth. I cheat you of God’s glory… because I convinced you to seek your own. My name is Pride. I am a cheater. You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you. Untrue. I’m looking to make a fool of you. God has so much for you, I admit, but don’t worry…

You can tell what you really care about when it keeps you awake at night.  Tonight(10/8/2013 11:55pm) I have been unable to sleep due to the current state of sexuality on my campus and the college culture towards sexuality in general.  Therefore I am going to write until I get tired and can close my eyes without the rush of these thoughts.  Two summers ago while at SDP an identity was spoken over me that often haunts me...  I am called a Pillar of Purity, often times in my life I have not walked in this identity!  I have taken my sexuality and traded it for instant satisfaction, throughout high school I dove head first seeking all of the gratification I could.  I ran from the Lord mainly in this area of my life...  I would wake up on Sunday and head to church and feel intense guilt and shame for my sin but would not change my ways.  Feeling the guilt of sin often drives me further from the Lord and deeper into that sin!   Therefore it was such an amazing feeling to arrive at Tech and

Your Love is Sweeter than Honey Your Love is Stronger than Death Your Love lifts me of my Burdens Your Love teaches me to Dance Riding into work this morning I was carrying a lot of pain, memories, and frustration knowing that Christ was knocking on my door asking to restore death to life!  I had downloaded two songs to my computer and jumped in the truck with them on repeat.  After the first time through I could already feel the scales falling away, my heart was opening back up to the Love of Papa.  I am not really sure whats been going on in my heart these last few weeks but I can feel some massive issues rising to the surface.  This morning I just remembered what Love is, his Love is sweeter than honey, so much better than anything I could ever desire on this Earth.  His Love is Stronger than Death!  He has conquered the grave, therefore all of my separation from Papa has been removed!  That gap can not be recreated by anything I do, his Love is restoring all of my fai

This morning while at work I think I listened through this song about four or five times in a row!  Its towards the end of Wedding season and I am in a season of life when friends are getting married and it feels crazy.  I am at an age where a lot of our conversations, prayer requests, and energy is spent towards the goal of finding "The One".  Our focus is set on something that is phenomenal and beautiful and pleasing to our Father.  But we often place our focus on a future marriage that will then make all things well.  I will then be fully satisfied, fully appreciated, fully understood, fully trusted, fully respected, fully Loved!  For me I often attempt to put my hope in that future potential of marriage, when the Hope of Glory is Christ!(Col 1:27).  Our Hope must actually be found when are eyes are set on the wedding day that is coming!  The day that the groom comes for the bride, the pursuit of Christ for us will culminate in a feast of celebration.  The fun weddings I

I remember listening to this song sometime last spring and just asking the Lord to come.  Today I was thinking back on that season because I glance back through my journals every now and then, the one theme that dominated my writing, prayer requests, and actions was a lack of rest.  I could not rest in anything, I was continually worn down and drawn thin.  Looking back I was not very involved, school was easy, lots of awesome life giving relationships but it is coming into clarity now why I still felt a lack of rest...  It was due to me not letting Papa come in close to me, I kept him at a distance.  I did not want to allow him into the depths of the pain of my past!  Last night at Summer Housechurch I just laid on the ground and invited the Lord with all of the faith I could muster to come close to me.  To come and bring the intimacy that he promises, to come and see all that I am!  He has done this in the past and I have felt the peace of the his presence overwhelm me!  So here we

Deng, I really dont have any word to connect with this song.  Simply listen to this song and you will see deep into my current thoughts!  Give me the real thing, stir up my passion, I want it all, Just Give Me Jesus!!!   I don't want just another touch I'm just looking for the real Jesus And only You will do My voice has sung a million words But I'm still looking for the real Jesus And only You will do It's all just meaningless And empty songs at best Unless you respond So give me the real thing Not just religion Stir up my passion With more of conviction I want it all Not just a portion Give me Your presence Not just some feeling I don't want just another taste I'm just looking for the real Jesus There must be more than this My heart is cold and faith is weak But I'm still looking for the real Jesus Oh I know there's more than this It's all just meaningless The stench of hollowness Unless You respond Just give me Jesus Just give me Jesus

Once again worship last night was Glorious!  Had a great day just chilling with my SDP folks from last summer, went up the river and just talked about the past season of life and where the Lord is leading us into.  Exciting and scary stuff but it was great to be back with some awesome people who speak some potent truth.   Last night during worship was one of many firsts...  For the first time in a long time I actually stood while I sang, for the first time in a long time I was singing from a place of Joy, for the first time in a long time I did not care how I worshiped my Lord I just worshiped.  Well its not like these things have not happened ever in my life, but I just felt so much peace during worship.  So I decided to throw the song that we just repeated for a long while up here, mainly cause I did not know the name so I was looking it up and now I am pumped, gotta buy this album!   All the angels cry out, Holy is the Lord God All the earth replies, Holy are You Thi

Again my commute to work is giving me some amazing time to simple be with the Lord and allow lyrics to wash over my soul.  This morning I put on my John Mark McMillan collection, working my way through the Economy album this song just tore me down! "Harbor me in the eye of the Storm, I'm holding on to the Love you Swore!"  John Mark is speaking from a place that many of us hit where we have nothing to hold on to but God.  I am not currently at that place because he has surrounded me with brothers and sisters who care for me.  They encourage me to run to Papa whenever I feel the devil tugging at my heart!  Today I had the realization that only I can have, for my current walk with the Lord, that he has Sworn to me as a Groom to a Bride that he will never leave or forsake me.  That when the storms come, he will protect me in the eye of the storm, that his Love is more powerful than anything this world can throw at us. From here my mind threw me off into Mark 4, so I

Yesterday I was resting in Mark 4, something I have meditated on many times in the past and it hit me right in the face.  Jesus is explaining a parable about the Kingdom of God and how God places seeds of his truth into our lives.   14  The farmer[God] sows the word. 15  Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. 16  Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. 17  But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 18  Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19  but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. 20  Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred

After Nate Moore had his EP Release Party at midtown about a weeks ago, I have been constantly listening to this album.  I love each song on this EP but for some reason this one always hits me where I am lacking most!  Today on the ride back from work I was tired from running into road blocks with my projects, and I was just in a general mode of frustration.  I started out listening to some RED which just made me more more frustrated because hard rock does not calm me down!  Then I switched over to this album and took my commute through Bankhead, I love driving through Bankhead!  As I cycled through the songs I started to warm up to the Truths of Christ and where my hope truly rests.  Reminding me of the promises that he has spoken of assurance and provision over my life! Then this song came through the speakers in Gregs Tacoma and deng, I just wanted to stop in the street and cry but I couldn't I had to keep driving, so I simply sang.  This is a reasonably soft song but my sin

I started this post a few weeks ago but last night at Midtown the Lord dropped this song so deeply into my heart.  During both worship sets I went off to the side to simply sit on the ground and sing alone.  I find myself when I am worshiping looking around and focusing on the body as it worships together and that can distract me for God.  Therefore I decided to get away and just close my eyes to talk with God, while talking I saw a combination of images that the Lord was bringing back from some amazing recent memories.  Here goes what landed in my journal during worship... "Picture of being in a river, like white water rafting, and Jesus pulled me into the raft and simply remembered me that I can walk on the cold waters, I will not get hypothermia if I stay in the water but that I can stand on the white waters and help direct rafts down the river." This picture was triggered by the fact that just last weekend I was up on the Ocoee rafting with some great friends.  As I

I am not quite sure why this song is hitting so close to home, but I listened to it twice on the ride into work today and a few times on monday as well.  The lyrics make sense but I am not poetic enough to really get a grasp on what is going on, the only lyric that I latched into deeply was, And the righteous raised their stones And the devil threw his arrow That was longing for a home With nowhere to go, Oh, Theo... Something about the "Any the righteous raise their stones, and the devil threw his arrow" woke up my ears and I looked around to how often I "the righteous" grab a stone!  I already know the common occurrence of the devil and his arrow but I need to be fully aware of my thoughts and actions that end up just being stones. Under the silence of water, Into a sky full of birds Out from the land of our fathers, I am falling on your words, Oh... Dark as the night of a preacher, I made a bed out of hay They paid me

There is going to be a wedding, that is the reason that I am living! I love when the Lord puts songs from past seasons back on your heart because they normally cycle back with exceeding power.  At SDP 2012 we sung many songs from a variety of musicians and networks.  Some lyrics that stuck with me the tightest, came from one liners of IHOP songs.  It takes me some time to track down the original artist and the context of the lyric but its so worth it.  This morning I kept singing to myself,  There is going to be a wedding, that is the reason that I am living , and I could not remember who sang it or where it came from.  Then google opened my eyes to its origin and I was blown away!   You simply have to take this song and sit with the Lord, this is not a song to sing along with but rather a song where you allow the Lord to break down walls to his love.  Sitting in the truth, my eyes slowly open to how he cares about us, how he loves us, why he loves us and how dearl

During these last few weeks I have returned to All Sons and Daughters, oh the power in the music!  Once again I have not much to write but I know the Lord uses music in a powerful way, so ill continue to post! Lord I find You in the seeking Lord I find You in the doubt And to know You is to love You And to know so little else I need You Oh how I need You Oh how I need You Oh how I need You Lord I find You in the morning Lord I seek You everyday Let my life be for Your glory Woven in your threads of grace I need You Oh how I need You Oh how I need You Oh how I need You Oh oh oh oh... Light, glorious light I will go where You shine Break the dawn, crack the skies Make the wave right before me In Your light I will find All I need, all I need is You All is Great in the Power of the Lord, Paul Shackelford

I have not much to write, but simply that I will trust you Jesus! Father of heavenly lights, Fount of wisdom and love All is laid bare in your sight, You know my ways I believe you will provide all I need in my life I will not fear anymore, For I will, ever... Trust You Jesus, Trust You Jesus, Trust You with my life V2 You hold the world in your hands, God of mercy and might Knew me before I was born, called me by Name How could I ever respond but to fall and adore I live to know You more, Lord I will, ever... Trust You Jesus, Trust You Jesus, Trust You with my life Let not the wise trust in their wisdom Let not the strong boast in their might Let not the rich glory in riches I will trust You All is Well in ATL, Paul Shackelford

Tonight, a good friend of mine is walking in the trials of the facts of Life and Death.  I will not expand on that events of tonight but I will attempt to express the thoughts, however confusing they are, in this writing.  I have been praying for hours and still I am confused but all I know is that Death is a very very real thing, the fact of death is overlooked almost every hour of my day.  If I actually believed that when people who do not know Christ die the are forever separated from him, then I think I would act differently.  If I actually understood the bible and the facts that are within then I would treat those around me differently.  I have a feeling I would not worry about school, relationships, my future, money, ect.  If I even partially understood the fact that billions of people who die that never even heard the saving name of Jesus.  How can I be so selfish to draw back from conversations with international students and refrain from expressing how much Jesus has made my

Today after a great conversation about relationships, I realized that I do not know myself as well as I once thought I did.  I am so glad that God created us to live in community, as a family to encourage, speak truth and identity into one another.  Ever since Megan and I broke up in December I have been in a state of having little to no desire to date.  Yes, I still find women attractive, and get caught up in the chase, but with minimal desire to pursue a relationship that resembles dating.  I have been wrestling with why dating leaves a bad taste in my mouth, because I know that pursuing relationships to the furtherance of the kingdom is amazing.  I have so many examples of how the Lord used dating relationships to transform communities, hearts, and advance the kingdom. I have been pressing in deeper to as to why I am dating averse.  A few weeks back we talked at midtown about being risk adverse and lacking faith, that is why we do not act in a manner that lines up with the words

After listening through this album by Jon Thurlow - Strong Love, I have fallen in love with this style of lyrical deployment.  This morning I was sitting out in Tech Green working through a study that I am progressing through and I put on this song, now I have heard it many times over the past few weeks.  Something this morning was simply different, the sun was soft as it rose above freshman hill and the CULC.  The soft delivery of brushes under a simplistic chord progression on the keys drew me into a place of sustained rest.  Then the lyrics were dropped and the pacing picks up, and oh how the power of these lyrics sends your mind back to exactly who God is and why his son is so lovely, why life has no meaning without the love of YHWH! I can not find the lyrics online,. therefore just listen to the song and allow the power of these words soak deep.   All in the Peace of the Father, Paul Shackelford

This morning I just decided to put together a lot of different versions of one of my favorite songs ever!  I love each of these recordings but my current favorite is the Ascend The Hill version. Enjoy one of the most powerful songs ever written, not because of the guitars, or piano, but rather because it speaks such powerful truth! All is Great in the House of my King Paul Shackelford

Jesus your beautiful!  Until this summer I had never been exposed to any IHOP worship, so when we started singing a lot of songs that were off my radar my ears perked up.  This song was by-far my favorite new song from the summer, if you even take a look through the lyrics you might understand why. I know that Your eyes are like flames of fire I know that Your head is white as wool I know that Your voice, it sounds like waters Jesus, You’re beautiful (There is none like You, Lord; Jesus, You’re beautiful) I left out a lot of the lyrics but this is the part that I latched onto because of the powerful imagery surround my powerful God.  Recently as I sit in the romance of our relationship with God I continually am getting lost in the unique power of each encounter with God!  My prayer for my Fraternity, this campus, and every believer and non-believer all around the world is that they would be able to encounter the God that I know and be romanced throughout life as they

Daniel Bashta is one of those artists I love listening to his lyrics and having the Lord speak through so strongly.  Tonight at Grace Midtown we worship through these lyrics while we celebrated some of Miracles, Signs, and Displays of Power from the last few months.  It was an amazing time just praising God for being God.  He is the creator, the caregiver, the giver of life, and protector, restorer, and redeemer.  Throughout the night I knew the Lord was moving and it was so great simply to rest in the powerful presence of my God. My prayer is that I would release my ever present risk averse mindset and just head first with faith that the Lord has a cool pool of water for me to swim and enjoy the Power of the Kingdom at hand.  Also I pray that this song would ravage more than just my heart with the Truths of the reason Jesus is our only everlasting Hope! I speak to barrenness I command life within Come live you desolate Spring up you living well I speak to