You Mock Me - Propaganda

I normally would accompany posting a song with some personal thoughts but I think today I will simply let the lyrics be the topic of conversations. Listen and read and let the poetic power of a hurting man speak to your soul.

And I asked you to be a symbol of the strength that was once given

Yet you mocked me

Oh, the mockery

And I place so much confidence in the lessons I swear you taught me

Yet you mock me

Oh, the mockery

You taunt me about glory days

You say my best is yet behind me

You just bring up old stuff; our relationship is so unhealthy

So codependent, you cut me

Down

You blame me, I blame me

And I'm a man and I won't crack and I won't show emotions right

I do just like my daddy did and his did

I bury you

I build me a mausoleum with a storage unit attached to it just for you

And I've grown so very weary at failing to make you stay there

I hate it when you show up at my functions; you're so pompous

And without an ounce of shame, you almost ruined my marriage

You mocked me

Oh, the humanity

And I try to upgrade the way I speak and raise my daughter

But every time I open my mouth, all I hear is my father

And the same foolish pride and pitfalls that he installed

Leap through my pores like, "Poor me", so annoying

And I place so much faith in you, but you let me down

I see my own eyes in my eight-year-old when I correct her

Why won't you go away?

You smirk as you chase me

You a coy Helen of Troy that toys with emotions

And feeble-brained boys like me fall for it every time

You mock me

And I'll probably do my best to convince you that I'm the victim

And you just don't believe me

You insist you are me

And I've ran and I've ran, yet your stride is identical

Every step I took, your foot fit right in it

Why can't I shake you?

I just can't shake you

You are my past

Why won't you stay there?

You that pain that guides us

Strings that tie us

That coincidence that proves to us God's existence

The joy I misplaced

Beautiful mistakes

A scarlet thread

My crimson cord

All is Great in Singapore,
Paul Shackelford

Alleluia - Jesus Culture with Martin Smith

Once again worship last night was Glorious! Had a great day just chilling with my SDP folks from last summer, went up the river and just talked about the past season of life and where the Lord is leading us into. Exciting and scary stuff but it was great to be back with some awesome people who speak some potent truth. Last night during worship was one of many firsts... For the first time in a long time I actually stood while I sang, for the first time in a long time I was singing from a place of Joy, for the first time in a long time I did not care how I worshiped my Lord I just worshiped. Well its not like these things have not happened ever in my life, but I just felt so much peace during worship. So I decided to throw the song that we just repeated for a long while up here, mainly cause I did not know the name so I was looking it up and now I am pumped, gotta buy this album! All the angels cry out, Holy is the Lord God ...

Rise Again - Needtobreathe

I have been reading a book about the arts and Christians role in creating culture. Steve Turner, the author, asserts a major critique that modern Christian art does not speak about real life. The art created does not sound genuine or have any ties to real life that people outside the faith can connect with. While reading the book I listened through this album and I think that this song does a great job of breaking the mold. The members of Needtobreathe are all outspoken followers of Jesus but very little of the art that they produce mentions Jesus or Christianity at all. Instead they craft creative music, written from places of pain and joy. "Rise Again" steps through pain that occurs in life as we see relationships stretched and torn. The bitterness of broken hearts and friendships is then contrasted with the truth that we will get up from this pain and rise again. "I can see us moving on, I can feel that coming on strong", the j...

Stones Under Rushing Water - Needtobreathe

Last weekend was the Big-Little retreat, where all of the associates and their Big Brothers bond over a weekend together. I went this semester because I love camping and I am on the committee that planned the event. On Friday night us brothers when for a hike down in Cloudland Canyon. It was intensely dark but still an amazing sight of nature while its masked by night. We found a waterfall that turned out to be great for an early morning worship time on Saturday. We had some great conversation as we walked talking about life. I loved being away from Tech for just two days and being at a place where the stresses of school could not effect me in the slightest. Once people started to head back to the cabin Borsch and I just stayed behind for some time in thought and prayer. It was utterly amazing, just looking out into the canyon when I could not see a thing. Yesterday I was thinking about this and I am not sure if t...

Letters from Lilongwe

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