Letters from Lilongwe

On the night before Christmas when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.  I was laying in bed trying to sleep but sleep did not come!  This is not an often occurrence for me, I typically konk out within a few minutes and sleep the night through without a problem.  This night was different, I actually was excited for the thoughts that swarmed my mind and kept me fully awake while laying in the darkness.  I was filled with ideas for my post graduation adventures and I could not silence the voice of calling.  This calling reminds me that life is not ment to be lived in the mold of expectations and confines of structure.  We live on this planet to live an adventure with our creator God who has redeemed and restored us through the loving sacrifice of his son Jesus Christ.  I may have lost some folks whenever I start diving into my beliefs but please track with my thought because it has shaped my life and is extraordinarily important to me.  This adventure of

Ministry to the poverty stricken be they homeless or simply below the poverty line is very challenging.  These are people with hopes and dreams, passion and love but we find it hard to treat them as humans.  Over the last few years I have become more and more exposed to this reality through relationships with brothers and sisters on the streets and the local community.  While praying this morning I realized that we as a compassionate community see the need to help those in homelessness as a no brainer.  You see someone without shoes, find them shoes!  But we then find it harder to give time and resources to those on the fringe of homelessness.  The people I am thinking of are the single mothers working three jobs trying to make ends meet so that she does not get herself evicted.  I know that we have a large portion of the poverty stricken community in Atlanta that is on the brink of homelessness and need hope just as much as those already on the streets.  This thought will propel me i

My typical morning routine includes taking a shower, grabbing some cloths, eating some cereal and then walking down the parking deck.  The Volvo takes a solid 5-10 minutes to warm up in this cold weather.  Therefore I take a the time to read through a chapter out of the Bible.  This is always a great way to start my day as I remember the things in life that have the most value!  This old engine is pushing me to sit with the Lord everyday and wrestle through his words.   Typically my head unit is playing some music while car warms up.  But this morning as my music was silent the Lord opened my eyes to an image that has never caught my eye.  I have never noticed this simply spray painted statement of "LOVE WINS".  It perfectly meshed with the passage out of Romans this morning talking about being dead to sin and alive in Christ.  Are we to keep on sinning so that grace may abound?  By no means should we take this love that has flooded over us and count it for noth

When the music stops what do I hear? The lack of beautiful music leaves my mind to race to and fro.  Thought to thought I can hardly stop my busy mind as it runs through the forest.  This feeling is quite natural but at the same time feels oh so foreign to me.  For four out of the past five years I have learned to rejoice in the silence of solitude.  Stepping away for times of refreshing walks by the river and hours of restful quite in my room.  This past year I have dreaded the thought of silence because I have felt that my mind was out of control.  Thoughts flashing through my mind would captivate my emotions and steal the affections of my soul.  Therefore I learned how to silence those thoughts by two main techniques.  First, to keep myself busy leaving no room for silence in my life.  Second, keep noise as a filler in the background slowing my thoughts and refocus them on that which truly matter.  This tactic is not one that I fear or desire to change but for the next season I w

Listening through another album from Noisetrade the title of this song cause my eye and prompted me into a post.  As I work through my days at my Co-Op I learn more and more about the expectation of my future that that are born both from my own desires and external pressures of society.  Looking towards my future I see myself following the ways of the world and pursuing a career that I only partially love because I love the money much more.  I see the multifaceted benefits of money and have concluded for myself that I can be very comfortable with minimal monetary wealth.  I see the joys of giving, blessing people around myself, being able to give my future family opportunities that only money can provide.  I also see the destruction that can come as money becomes an all consuming idol that robs me of passion, creativity, and my created purpose.  Therefore this song sparks an interesting inner dialog because I desire to live a life consumed fully by family, community, discipleship and

Looking ahead of the concert schedule I realized that Paper Route was coming to town in mid December and I got excited!  One of my great ways to make computer work fly by is listening to music, therefore this morning I listened through the first Paper Route album "The Pease of Wild Things".  The sounds that this band carries first caught my ear two summer ago when I heard You and I .  Broad sweeping powerful alternative rock with lyrics that stir my thoughts.  I tend to enjoy artists that have spiritual undertones as they speak about life and love. Calm my soul woke me up this morning and I would like to pass along some of the reasons why.  The first verse resonates well with my life as I am learned year by year, making mistakes, living to tell the tale of grace.  A few weeks ago on a trip to TN with some buddies I realized for the first time that I actually forgot a lot of my events in about the last two years of life.  It is really strange but they would speak of conver

So let Go my Soul and Trust in Him The waves and wind still know his name! While eating my breakfast this morning I was thinking through the above lyrics that we sung on Sunday morning at Midtown.  Then a picture landed in my head that I could not shake.  I saw myself holding on to the rudder of a small sail boat in the middle of the storm.  Wave after wave crashing into the boat.  I was standing firm and holding on to the rudder for dear life to keep the boat pointed in the direction that I wanted.  Each time the wind would change direction the rudder would slap me around and I started to see the meaning behind this picture. I try so hard to control my life, my future, my possessions, my friends and at the end of the day I am broken and bruised from the storms of life.  This morning the Lord simply said, let go of the rudder for a while.  Let me take control and let the storm go its course.  Let go of the rudder, the boat will travel where the wind and waves blow.  So let go my

Searching through Noise Trade I tend to find great artists that I would have never encountered.  Yesterday I came across Vincent James and I have been listing to his EP all morning!  Powerful harmonies and strumming patterns that remind me of Judah and The Lion truly brings life from music.  Typically on first pass the musical arrangement is what truly awakes a desire to return to the album again then I tend to find the lyrics to be even more powerful!  This song exemplifies that process as this powerful duet captures the ear and then his powerful motifs about how life that arises in the dawn.   http://vincentjames.bandcamp.com/track/the-dawn-2   Hallelujah I can just start to see the light and this wilderness below  that we had come to know has given light, given life, given hope. Praise the Lord for the dawn!  The night seems so dark, we feel lost in ourselves, lost in our minds, lost in our sin.  Then the hope of light enters into the picture but as we talk abou

I love this song!  I started listening to Church Clothes Vol 2 about a week ago in my car and have been loving it so much!  This song has a fun beat and a play full vibe to it and throughout the whole song Lecrae and Paul Wall set the stage as of how you do not need a awesome car.  This is gonna be the anthem for my old Volvo! [Verse 1: Lecrae] Yo, aye look 5th wheel straight hangin' Grip the grain, I’m swangin' It’s Texas all on my roots boy Ain’t no point in me changing On 45, trunk bangin' From fair park to south acres I hit big T’s then I hit kings In the same day no playin I’m whippin, I’m dippin though the great state of Texas I used to rock the gold, tall t's with a necklace My car wasn’t mean but I kept that thing clean Paint chip, couple dents And the brakes used to scream Oh well, I still gotta let that trunk knock Hear me beatin down yo block And my car just stopped again Mayne, my gas gauge don’t work I can’t te

I think its funny that we are so concerned with making money!  The preaching of a poet always makes me think deeper about my life!  Revealing lies that I have believed or just forcing me to ask the simple question Why?   Why do I work so hard at Tech?  Why do I hold a entry level position at a construction supply company?  Why do I fight my peers to attain a high GPA?   Then comes the simply motive that has driven many men mad, Money!  The power of Money is traced through every civilization causing brother to kill brother for the lust of Gold.  In our current day we see the results of our past generations as we are disposed towards a life in search of wealth.  We are in search of freedom and this tends to be from the woes of financial crisis.  We run from anything that might impede a comfortable life and typically money can buy away our discomfort.  Therefore the search for money drives folks down a road of selfish desire to trade a life filled with passions for one solely to

I have been reading a book about the arts and Christians role in creating culture.  Steve Turner, the author, asserts a major critique that modern Christian art does not speak about real life.  The art created does not sound genuine or have any ties to real life that people outside the faith can connect with.  While reading the book I listened through this album and I think that this song does a great job of breaking the mold.  The members of Needtobreathe are all outspoken followers of Jesus but very little of the art that they produce mentions Jesus or Christianity at all.  Instead they craft creative music, written from places of pain and joy.   "Rise Again"  steps through pain that occurs in life as we see relationships stretched and torn.  The bitterness of broken hearts and friendships is then contrasted with the truth that we will get up from this pain and rise again.   "I can see us moving on, I can feel that coming on strong", the joy that comes after the

I have been listening to this new Needtobreathe album and I really want to take this evening to relax and listen through the album slowly analyzing the lyrics.  Enjoy one of my favorite tracks and expect an explosion of posts in the next 48 hours. Brother Let Me Be Your Shelter Needtobreathe is comprised of two brothers and childhood friends and as you follow this group you realize more and more of the tension produced by years and years on tour.  If you want a window into the full story simply follow this link and watch a short documentary they created called "Prove the Poets Wrong" . Never Leave You All Alone I Can Be The One To Call When You're Low Tonight I feel the Love that draws me back home to Georgia Tech for another semester with my Brothers at Theta Xi.  In the years I have seen relationships come and go due to my actions and the actions of others.  But the one thing that I know is that the men who surround me on campus are my shelter and

I normally would accompany posting a song with some personal thoughts but I think today I will simply let the lyrics be the topic of conversations.  Listen and read and let the poetic power of a hurting man speak to your soul. And I asked you to be a symbol of the strength that was once given Yet you mocked me Oh, the mockery And I place so much confidence in the lessons I swear you taught me Yet you mock me Oh, the mockery You taunt me about glory days You say my best is yet behind me You just bring up old stuff; our relationship is so unhealthy So codependent, you cut me Down You blame me, I blame me And I'm a man and I won't crack and I won't show emotions right I do just like my daddy did and his did I bury you I build me a mausoleum with a storage unit attached to it just for you And I've grown so very weary at failing to make you stay there I hate it when you show up at my functions; you're so pompous And without an

For all that do not know I am currently studying abroad in Singapore for the summer.  This is the first time in the last four years that I have not lived with someone!  It is strange but the one main thing I like about it is being able to listen to my music as I fall asleep.  For the past week this has been my favorite song because it focuses on how wrong our expectations about Jesus truly are! This trip has tuned my focus into the Son of God who came to earth as a sacrifice for the entire world!  While at Tech I often get wrapped up in looking and acting like a good christian to impress or win the favor of those in my christian culture.  Over the last few weeks I have enjoyed my masks falling off because I have  no one to impress.  I see the powerful relationship that is foundation to my life and that brings me so much joy.  I also see a lot of crap that I wade around in daily because I have some serious issues to take before the King.  During these weeks I see a very raw form of

It is simply amazing the power of song, combination lyric and melody, simple yet an intense mental and sensory experience! From the love of my own comfort From the fear of having nothing From a life of worldly passions Deliver me O God From the need to be understood From the need to be accepted From the fear of being lonely Deliver me O God And I shall not want,  when I taste Your goodness I shall not want From the fear of serving others From the fear of death or trial From the fear of humility Deliver me O God All is Well, All is Well, Paul Shackelford

When I first listened through this album about a year ago I started to wrestle with this song.  This song was recorded in a House Church environment and Aaron Keyes simply speaks out the truths that are held deep within each song.  During this song he referenced the two scriptures below.  Psalm 73:25 is one that I do not even feign to comprehend!  I am slowly learning the power of inter-dependent relationships and the destructive nature of co-dependence.  My heart has not been able to 100% say that there is none that I desire besides you on Earth!  I know that I desire many things of this world and those idols tend to consume my worship.  I worship the things that are close, that I can control, that I can see and touch.  These tactile idols are just the same as the Golden Calf and the idols of the OT.  Therefore I walk into the presence of God with him knowing that these are issues in my heart and ask that they be stripped because I can not worship two Gods.  Either I worship the cre

Yesterday I spent some time reading back through my old blog posts because this writing is not truly for anyone else to read.  This writing is for future Paul to be able to take a look back upon and say How Great is My God for walking with me even when I try to run away.  After reading through the past year of posts I started believing the lie that I had not see any change in the last year, or two years for that matter.  This lie speaks that the Father has not been with me during my mistakes, trials, and seekings of this world.  He has been there pleading with me through soft whispers and through the voice of a loud roaring lion.  He says one thing, "I am all that you need, please just come home and be with me!".  Yesterday after a rough day at work and not feeling very well I went to the river for some much needed Paul and God time.  I have been blessed by the wisdom of my community but my thoughts needed to be renewed by the Father.  Only he can transform the lies in my m

Often times Love songs are best not converted to be sung towards God.  Simply because they evoke a Love that is of this realm and not that of the magnificent God who is the fullness of Love.  This song was one that I have clung to at times as an amazing bridge between human love and that of the divine.  I do not know the intent of this artists profession of chasing after a Lover weather it be God or his wife.  In this moment I have to mute the voices in my head pointing this song towards that Love of this natural world.   These lyrics are drawing my heart out of a shipwrecked state and into one of seeing the dark nights break into the beauty of sunrise.  Feeling the truth of the Love that has been birthed within me draw me back to my eternal Lover.  He sings of the process that it takes as he fights to return to hold his Lover.   This course that is traveled is one that almost brings the artist to tears and I feel the full weight his emotion.  I feel a pain that is so good becaus

During this last week I have done Work!  I have used my body to move something and change its form so that it retains value.  This work has been back breaking and ensures that I eat a lot of food and sleep well at night!  As I look around down here in the Bahamas I see a lot of people on vacation its fun to see families having a great time enjoying a great island but I also see couples that are tired and worn out.  They don't talk to each other and this vacation is a time to run away from work.  Because their job has become toil and not the work that it was intended to be.  I venture towards the thoughts of heaven when our toil becomes work that actually is our purpose.  To rule and subdue the things that we have been put in charge of for the Father.  He says that some will be ruling a town some a city and others many cities.  I want to go to work and see the fruit of my labor not wear me down as toil but rather bring me life as work. The effects of work tend to be satisfaction

So glad that I picked this album up a few weeks ago when United Pursuit came to Grace Midtown.  I have been listening through this album over and over again because that is one of things I do at work!  I find an album I like and then I wear it out and this being the second to last song on the album I tend to let the music dominate the lyrics.  On this song I could not because of how much it pertains to me life at this moment.  I do not need to lay it all out on the internet but this song is the encouragement in what feels like cloudy days to see the Lords hand at work! This song does not have any lyrics to be found on the internet and I may come back and update this post with the lyrics but for now I will leave you simply with the song. All is well in the arms of my Father, Paul Shackelford

This post will contain a collection of writings that I will be working through in the next few days.  It is labeled "The Effects of ____" and some of the topics I will be journeying through will be Love, Hatred, Jealousy, Happiness, God, Power, Greed and Pride.  I write these freehand in a train of thought method and then transcribe into this post therefore some stuff may not make any sense. 3.28.2014 - The Effects of Love Oh the effects of Love!  This goes for both receiving and giving.  The Joy that rises in my soul that brings me fully alive is a product of when I am loved by God.   Then times that  I feel his grace, feel his power, and feel his love are the times in life that I cherish the most.  This love that I can receive can not be compared to that of any mustered by the heart of man.  This love, that flows from the heart of the God is pure and just, full of kindness and mercy.  Its acts are one way streets from the creator to his creation.  He fills those he lov