Tonight was an amazing night with the WayFare camp that our sister minstry 3DM puts on for Highschool and Middle Schoolers. I volunteered with the group today to help the students on their service projects around the Myrtle Beach area. The service work is not very important to my story but thats the reason I went to their night service with the rest of our group. The topic for the night was all about identidy and transformation of identity from the curses we have had spoken over us to who the Lord sees us as. We have been doing a lot of this is the past few weeks at SDP and the Lord has been revealing many of my false identities and replacing them with his Truth. Tonight I surrendered my false identity as a Black Sheep. There was a song in high school called Black Sheep by Saliva and I have since that point in time though of myself as the Black Sheep of my family. My family never placed this identity on me, but rather I laid it on my own head because I felt like I was not as talented, successful, gifted, or powerful as my brother and sisters. I lived under this weight that what I brought to the table in the family was worthless to what the brought. And this is no fault to my family because my parents and brothers and sisters always affirmed my giftings and talents, they affirmed that we were not in competition, that I was a special individual who was loved just as much as the rest of my siblings.
The devil used this foothold in my heart to throw jealousy into my heart, trying to get me to try to one-up my brother in sports, kick down my little sister in her talents, and overall lust after the gifting of my siblings. Tonight I surrendered that false identity that the devil has tricked me with for so many years. I spoke to God and he broke me down, removed that pain from my heart, and replaced those lost years with his love. I asked him to show me what the years would have looked like if I had not believed the lies and he did, and I simply praised him for the gifting, success, and talents of my family. It was amazing, I cried and cried letting the blood of Christ wash through the years of my pain. The only emotion I felt after that conversation was joy and liberation from the lies of the devil.
Tonight I realized that when I feel the presence of God I simply weep, not cry, but cry my eyes out. Some people laugh, some sing, I cry and cry deeply. I use to think that my crying must not be very fun to watch, but tonight the Lord said that my crying is beautiful, that it brings joy to his heart to see my soul poured out with the fragrance of Christ. Boom, so much power in the scent of Christ, Boom.
Another cool thing about tonight was while I was talking to the Father about being the Black Sheep I just kept asking, I Want to See Your Face. Over and over again I was hungering to see his face like in a vision or something, some tangible way. Then moments later the lyrics, I See Your Face in Your Beautiful, were sung over the crowd, and the Lord just burst forth the flowing of my eyes. I stood and wept in his presence. Then the final chorus after the song was being sung was, Everything Changed When I See Your Face, I was blown away. There is so much truth in the presence of God, if you have not experienced the present power of the Creator of the Universe just ask and he will provide. I have been asking since I realized that I could feel, hear, and touch the Lord that he would speak in powerful ways, and in these last few days he has. I will look back on these pair of blog posts, my scribbles in my journals, and the impressions on my heart and praise the Father for what he has shown me.
Over and Out from Myrtle,
To the One who Sits Upon the Throne, be Blessing and Honor and Glory and Power Forever.
Paul Shackelford
Once again my writing is not for some english teacher to give me an A, its so that my thoughts and feelings don't get lost in the pages of my journals.
The devil used this foothold in my heart to throw jealousy into my heart, trying to get me to try to one-up my brother in sports, kick down my little sister in her talents, and overall lust after the gifting of my siblings. Tonight I surrendered that false identity that the devil has tricked me with for so many years. I spoke to God and he broke me down, removed that pain from my heart, and replaced those lost years with his love. I asked him to show me what the years would have looked like if I had not believed the lies and he did, and I simply praised him for the gifting, success, and talents of my family. It was amazing, I cried and cried letting the blood of Christ wash through the years of my pain. The only emotion I felt after that conversation was joy and liberation from the lies of the devil.
Tonight I realized that when I feel the presence of God I simply weep, not cry, but cry my eyes out. Some people laugh, some sing, I cry and cry deeply. I use to think that my crying must not be very fun to watch, but tonight the Lord said that my crying is beautiful, that it brings joy to his heart to see my soul poured out with the fragrance of Christ. Boom, so much power in the scent of Christ, Boom.
Another cool thing about tonight was while I was talking to the Father about being the Black Sheep I just kept asking, I Want to See Your Face. Over and over again I was hungering to see his face like in a vision or something, some tangible way. Then moments later the lyrics, I See Your Face in Your Beautiful, were sung over the crowd, and the Lord just burst forth the flowing of my eyes. I stood and wept in his presence. Then the final chorus after the song was being sung was, Everything Changed When I See Your Face, I was blown away. There is so much truth in the presence of God, if you have not experienced the present power of the Creator of the Universe just ask and he will provide. I have been asking since I realized that I could feel, hear, and touch the Lord that he would speak in powerful ways, and in these last few days he has. I will look back on these pair of blog posts, my scribbles in my journals, and the impressions on my heart and praise the Father for what he has shown me.
Over and Out from Myrtle,
To the One who Sits Upon the Throne, be Blessing and Honor and Glory and Power Forever.
Paul Shackelford
Once again my writing is not for some english teacher to give me an A, its so that my thoughts and feelings don't get lost in the pages of my journals.