Letters from Lilongwe

Today is my second day back at Sto Corp and the last 12 hours have been testing my patience to say the least!  Last night I started working on the universal joints in the drive shaft of my 1972 Volvo 142.  I spent five hours buying the parts, taking apart the old u-joint, and fighting to put the new joint in place!  After it was all said and done I did not finish and ruined a $20 part.  Therefore I was extremely frustrated last night, went to sleep frustrated, had a terrible night sleeping and woke up late to come to work.  After eating some cereal I borrowed a brothers car and started off to work only to notice there was 25 miles to empty.  So I pulled into a gas station a block from campus to fill up only to realize my wallet was not in my pocket.  I drove back to the house and got my wallet, then back to the gas station where I got to stand in 8 degree weather to fill the tank!  After getting gas it was on the road for a 25 min drive to work b...

“Everyone’s life is valuable and everyone's story is worth telling”, Theron Humphrey set out to meet and share the stories of 365 Americans across fifty states in 365 days.  This image on the trip spoke directly to my soul on Friday October 25, 2013 after a frustrating and exhausting morning serving my friends in the small park in front of the Coca-Cola Office on North Ave.  As I put into practice the ideas we discuss in class pertaining to empathy, leadership, and servanthood I am learning that everyone on this planet has a storied life of impact.  The men in the park who are homeless have left a last impression on my view of Impact because they in the material sense have very little but what they do have is life and love and that is priceless.  Week after week of returning to love on these guys I became worn down and discouraged that my efforts were not making an impact.  The picture below resonated and revealed that at times the journey will wear you down b...

My name is Pride. I am a cheater. I cheat you of your God-given destiny… because you demand your own way. I cheat you of contentment… because you “deserve better than this.” I cheat you of knowledge… because you already know it all. I cheat you of healing… because you are too full of you to forgive. I cheat you of holiness… because you refuse to admit when you are wrong. I cheat you of vision… because you’d rather look in the mirror than out a window. I cheat you of genuine friendship… because nobody’s going to know the real you. I cheat you of love… because real romance demands sacrifice. I cheat you of greatness in heaven… because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth. I cheat you of God’s glory… because I convinced you to seek your own. My name is Pride. I am a cheater. You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you. Untrue. I’m looking to make a fool of you. God has so much for you, I admit, but don’t worry… ...

You can tell what you really care about when it keeps you awake at night.  Tonight(10/8/2013 11:55pm) I have been unable to sleep due to the current state of sexuality on my campus and the college culture towards sexuality in general.  Therefore I am going to write until I get tired and can close my eyes without the rush of these thoughts.  Two summers ago while at SDP an identity was spoken over me that often haunts me...  I am called a Pillar of Purity, often times in my life I have not walked in this identity!  I have taken my sexuality and traded it for instant satisfaction, throughout high school I dove head first seeking all of the gratification I could.  I ran from the Lord mainly in this area of my life...  I would wake up on Sunday and head to church and feel intense guilt and shame for my sin but would not change my ways.  Feeling the guilt of sin often drives me further from the Lord and deeper into that sin!   Therefore it was su...

Your Love is Sweeter than Honey Your Love is Stronger than Death Your Love lifts me of my Burdens Your Love teaches me to Dance Riding into work this morning I was carrying a lot of pain, memories, and frustration knowing that Christ was knocking on my door asking to restore death to life!  I had downloaded two songs to my computer and jumped in the truck with them on repeat.  After the first time through I could already feel the scales falling away, my heart was opening back up to the Love of Papa.  I am not really sure whats been going on in my heart these last few weeks but I can feel some massive issues rising to the surface.  This morning I just remembered what Love is, his Love is sweeter than honey, so much better than anything I could ever desire on this Earth.  His Love is Stronger than Death!  He has conquered the grave, therefore all of my separation from Papa has been removed!  That gap can not be recreated by anything I do, h...

This morning while at work I think I listened through this song about four or five times in a row!  Its towards the end of Wedding season and I am in a season of life when friends are getting married and it feels crazy.  I am at an age where a lot of our conversations, prayer requests, and energy is spent towards the goal of finding "The One".  Our focus is set on something that is phenomenal and beautiful and pleasing to our Father.  But we often place our focus on a future marriage that will then make all things well.  I will then be fully satisfied, fully appreciated, fully understood, fully trusted, fully respected, fully Loved!  For me I often attempt to put my hope in that future potential of marriage, when the Hope of Glory is Christ!(Col 1:27).  Our Hope must actually be found when are eyes are set on the wedding day that is coming!  The day that the groom comes for the bride, the pursuit of Christ for us will culminate in a feast of cele...

I remember listening to this song sometime last spring and just asking the Lord to come.  Today I was thinking back on that season because I glance back through my journals every now and then, the one theme that dominated my writing, prayer requests, and actions was a lack of rest.  I could not rest in anything, I was continually worn down and drawn thin.  Looking back I was not very involved, school was easy, lots of awesome life giving relationships but it is coming into clarity now why I still felt a lack of rest...  It was due to me not letting Papa come in close to me, I kept him at a distance.  I did not want to allow him into the depths of the pain of my past!  Last night at Summer Housechurch I just laid on the ground and invited the Lord with all of the faith I could muster to come close to me.  To come and bring the intimacy that he promises, to come and see all that I am!  He has done this in the past and I have felt the peace of the ...