November oh November

This has been a very hard month... First on a light note I had to shave my beard for no shave November. That pained me on many dimensions, lost a vital part of my face, lost my facial insulation, now I have to ensure the growing process(it itches like crazy). Second realized my grades were not so hot, therefore I have added a lot more of my energy into learning for class. This was a massively bad idea, last night I realized that I gain life from meeting with people one on one and I have not met with someone intentionally in a few weeks and that hurts. I am realizing again that I do not trust the lord to be a giver of good gifts. I believe that I can earn a degree to earn a job to earn a wage to provide for my family. I fail to believe that God provides thought means, that I can not comprehend! I may try to learn as much as I can at tech, still get a poor GPA and not get that typical IE job, but I trust that he provides for his children! Third, I have just been believing a lot of the lies that dominated my first two years at tech. A lot about purity, self worth, confidence, comparison, and overall joy in the Father. I have been down but the lord continually picks me up and I don't deserve it one bit!

This past weeks sermon at midtown was all about actually working to see your visions come to fruition! This talk rocked me because I realized I have a lot of cool visions but how many have been seen to completion... Time to set some goals and work for months and years to see change for myself and for others!

Well I think I may sleep now because I am currently 29,000ft over South Carolina flying home for Thanksgiving! Oh how great it will be when I get time to rest with family!

All in Christ,
Paul Shackelford

Alleluia - Jesus Culture with Martin Smith

Once again worship last night was Glorious! Had a great day just chilling with my SDP folks from last summer, went up the river and just talked about the past season of life and where the Lord is leading us into. Exciting and scary stuff but it was great to be back with some awesome people who speak some potent truth. Last night during worship was one of many firsts... For the first time in a long time I actually stood while I sang, for the first time in a long time I was singing from a place of Joy, for the first time in a long time I did not care how I worshiped my Lord I just worshiped. Well its not like these things have not happened ever in my life, but I just felt so much peace during worship. So I decided to throw the song that we just repeated for a long while up here, mainly cause I did not know the name so I was looking it up and now I am pumped, gotta buy this album! All the angels cry out, Holy is the Lord God ...

Rise Again - Needtobreathe

I have been reading a book about the arts and Christians role in creating culture. Steve Turner, the author, asserts a major critique that modern Christian art does not speak about real life. The art created does not sound genuine or have any ties to real life that people outside the faith can connect with. While reading the book I listened through this album and I think that this song does a great job of breaking the mold. The members of Needtobreathe are all outspoken followers of Jesus but very little of the art that they produce mentions Jesus or Christianity at all. Instead they craft creative music, written from places of pain and joy. "Rise Again" steps through pain that occurs in life as we see relationships stretched and torn. The bitterness of broken hearts and friendships is then contrasted with the truth that we will get up from this pain and rise again. "I can see us moving on, I can feel that coming on strong", the j...

It is Well - Bethel Music

So let Go my Soul and Trust in Him The waves and wind still know his name! While eating my breakfast this morning I was thinking through the above lyrics that we sung on Sunday morning at Midtown. Then a picture landed in my head that I could not shake. I saw myself holding on to the rudder of a small sail boat in the middle of the storm. Wave after wave crashing into the boat. I was standing firm and holding on to the rudder for dear life to keep the boat pointed in the direction that I wanted. Each time the wind would change direction the rudder would slap me around and I started to see the meaning behind this picture. I try so hard to control my life, my future, my possessions, my friends and at the end of the day I am broken and bruised from the storms of life. This morning the Lord simply said, let go of the rudder for a while. Let me take control and let the storm go its course. Let go of the rudder, the boat will travel where...

Letters from Lilongwe

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